Ms. Kay s lecture

Today wasnt a great day, it was tiring, it was sweaty, it was shit. Whats most %#@!ed up was Bball 3v3 today.

I dont know if 10a got the lecture or not. Mainly 10B

But I guess what really made gave me a brain drain was getting to know Ms Kay's side. Perspective, POV, stepping into her side of view. After her 50 mins lecture/speech today, I felt ashamed, and alarmed. Alarmed with how tiring it is to go really see through someone's eyes, and rflect it like a mirror.Ashamed on how i criticize her. Occasionally I would go : Holy crap, Ms kay, the hell is wrong with her? WTF? so much hw...?= = or "Wow got analed by Kay today....damnit. All these come from my egomind, and I am respondsible for not taking control of it, allowing that #$%!@ to take control and cuss the hell out of Ms. Kay. For that I am truly sorry, and I feel that I have wasted a whole year without really understanding her, thinking that I did. Today 3:25-4:10pm I got the first chance to really take on the full blast of her thoughts, feelings, and I am grateful.

She mentioned my post on Kenny's thread,I thought it trivial, but I still checked it, and read it. That post of mine used Ms Kay as an example on how Ms kay, our advisor/mentor/teacher also explodes occasionally in extremely stressed moments of life. But I only talked about her exploding, with a great big dynamite hidden somewhere, I did not talk about the hidden challenges and burdens she had to face when teaching us. I do not think a simple apology will do, but I am still feel guilty now, for the wrong use of diction, the biased POV on her, and the cynical statement that I have made on her. SOrry.

Thank you, for being a perfect role model, by not being perfect. It eradicated the "ZOMFG its MS KAY" god-like (chinese thinking) prescene that you have once have for me, Ms kay has seem more human to me, she also has her troubles, shes also human. This allowed me to connect with her today, and see how wrong and fucked up I was on the statement about her on Ken's post.

This post was mainly....generated? after listening to her lecture, just some messed up thoughts. Sorry for not organizing them, but it just felt good typing this thought out. 自爽用

Hey brad.

It's ok. Yeah we all tend to be short-sighted and narrow-minded sometimes. i know i get like that all the time.
Props to you! you're able to come and post this new topic admitting your wrong doing and this is an act of change. This may not seem like it but this doesn't seem liek you at all and well-- you're actually sort of transcending your oridinary thinking-- in the state of the mind-- and you're actually carrying out change and taking risks. Great job brad! you frickin rock! Don't worry about it, don't let your mind dwell around the past. Live, you already did what you had to do, there's no point of feeling so horrible. you already felt horrible. Been there done that right? just come off of it and continue your day. Have a good night BRAD

All of us have our shortcomings.

And actually, I'm quite sure that some of us were having the kind of feelings you were having except that you chose to articulate them through the forum. Through this piece of experience I think we're getting hands-on experience with how to deal with people and getting to know the other side of the story -- something we constantly try to learn, right?

As you are feeling guilty, I don't think you should be wallowing in your guilt but try to do something more actively out of a sense of redemption I guess. I'm hoping that such a thing will help you out more. :]

Her story about her life actually teared me up because of the analogy she used about the glass shards and realistically speaking i winced whens he told us the analogy. I'm sure that some of us can at least sort of relate to her words and that we all learned a lesson today.

It's okay lahh *pat pat* Remember that one of Ms. Kay's best attributes is compassion. Remember how she said to forgive yourself first? So Bradley, forgive yourself and then I'm sure that your inner peace will help you see things more clearly and yeah. :]

Yeah, props for getting all this out Bradley.

I think you speak for many of us. Or me, at least. I'm not going to lie and pretend I have unconditionally loved Ms. Kay. Like you, I've b!tched about the homework load, low test grades, and radical ideas. I may be overgeneralizing, but I feel that we have all at some point unfairly put our teacher (not just Ms. Kay) on a pedestal. Because she is presenting these big life concepts to us, we expect her to have it all figured out. (or maybe that is just the ego finding an excuse for poor behavior, ha) But let us step back a bit, and we might realize that we're the ones being grossly unrealistic. Newsflash: she's human...you know, kind of like us.

I also feel guilty about my unrealistic expectations of teachers and how I cold have made more of my sophomore year, but I would not want to go back and change anything. I got through what I got through, and its given me the understanding that I have now. Even if someone told me all this before I took Ms. Kay's class, I wouldn't have bought it. My understanding now is still far less than perfect, but I'm okay with that because I have the rest of my life to build on it. I also believe that our class as a whole has come through with Ms. Kay, showing her that we are overall grateful for what she has exposed us to this year, whether we liked it or not at the time. (I don't know about the rest of you, but I think this is the root of our feelings about next year's English Honors class, with the both the loss and addition of classmates.)

So yep, basically congrats with your revealation.